Ashellie's Book of Poetry

Suicide Virgin

It’s a terrifying sound when you can’t fill your lungs
A song even worse when your heart speaks in tongues
Every word softly spoken now screams in agony
As you remember what she said and what you used to be
And I’ll leave this world with the kick of a chair
The noose tightens and strangles and rips out my hair
But I never thought I’d yell this as I die
I love you, I love you, I love you… Goodbye…

Angel Eyes (Guys POV)

With her back to me, a woman sat alone
Around her an aura of sadness and pain
Feeling that I should lend comfort, I approached
Reaching out touching her shoulder

Immediately my lungs gasp for precious air
Heart feebly tried to continue beating
Terror as I have never known gripped me
One look and my soul became a prisoner

Resplendent eyes pulled in like a whirlpool
Wrenched by waves of melancholic emotions
Trembling I stared deep into the bowels of hell
Events of unimaginable magnitude flashed before me

Mass murders, war, racial discord reigned blood
Starving babies, disease destruction of our planet
She showed me all the hate in a godless world
Looking away, she released me from this horror

Sobbing my body slumped weakly to the floor
Lamenting the death and suffering, she had shown me
This angel harbored the sorrows of the world
In the most glorious eyes of the color spectrum

Excuse the Mess

Excuse the mess
I’m not perfect
The lives I destroy
The memories I infect

I can’t believe I’m doing this
The sharp end of this blade is so rough
It’s sending a message to my life
I never knew it was this tough

Falling apart with each mistake I make
I lost what kept me together
Or have I just lost my mind?
I thought it would last forever

The pain, the agony
The cut of flesh and bone
Take it all away
My feelings have turned stone

Excuse the mess
I had it under control
Just walk away
I’ve lost my self-control

Slice, Dice, and Cut

I slice. I dice. I cut. I bleed.
I let my blade take the lead.

I don’t want to live.
I have nothing left to give.

My heart and soul are dead,
Because of something he said.

I take a breath and cut some more,
Watching my blood hit the floor.

I feel so weak,
As a tear streams down my cheek.

As I take my last breath, I reach for you,
But you’re not there.
It’s okay, it’s not like you’d care!

Beckoning

Fallen angel at my feet,
Whispered voices at my ear,
Death before my eyes,
Lying next to me I fear,
She beckons me…

Don’t Know What To Do

He has left me bruised
Am I alive just to be abused?

What have I done wrong?
I’m weak now not strong

Should I just run away?
Pack my stuff and go today

But my problems would come with me
So nothing would change now I see

But I really want to just move on
Cause he won’t care if I’m gone

Maybe take my one last breath
And lead myself to death
Wish I had the guts to just say goodbye
But I don’t I sit there with my knife and cry

Why can’t I just do it now get it over and done
Because I know that if I do that, he’s just won

One Last Time

Escape from reality
Just give in to insanity
You can’t fight this thing anymore
I’m sure, I know

Just forget me
Forget what we’ve been though
Cause I’m sick of remembering it once again
Just lay down, and be dead until then

I bid you goodbye,
But why won’t you just die?
Every time I try
You always make me cry

It hurts (the pain)
One step closer
It hurts (I can’t stay sane)
The monster within me is trying to break through

Why

Why is it, people never really care
Even though we all breathe the same air
Why do people always die
And they go but no one even says bye

Does no one live anymore
Or is trying to save someone really such a chore
These people are dying and can’t seem to heal
I can’t help but to wonder, how do their families deal

Human or Demon?

This skin hides all the shame
And only I am to blame
For all the sins
Before the insanity begins
The voices in my head
Won’t go until I’m dead
These hands are the tools
That turn wise men into fools
This body is not a home
But in my mind, I roam
Into random points I run to
But none of them were you
Like a girl whose lost her friend
The only one she could depend
The markings on my arm
Would bring the normal person’s alarm
I am not in control
For the feelings in my soul
What lies under my skin?
Only where the demons been
I cannot answer
Just a deadly cancer
That eats at my heart
And leaves me in a cart
So to my soul, would you save?
Before they take me to my grave

Losing My Balance

I'm losing my balance tonight...
but I think I'm ready to take this flight.
Board the flight of love once more,
fly without a worry above the many shores...
so will you be there to catch me?

I've got no security blanket beneath me,
but I'm counting on you to be there
when I fall... cause baby I'm falling fast.
I'll always love you with every beat of my heart,
so what do you say... should we restart?

[Chorus]
'Cause I'm falling so fast tonight,
never thought that this would feel so right...
To fall deep again for someone like you...
to rekindle our love once lead askew.
But I'm ready...and I hope you are too.

I'm now boarding the flight of love,
soaring amid the white clouds in the sky,
without a worry in the world, I fly...
hoping to reach your arms once more,
so I'm taking the risk, and I fall....

[Chorus]
'Cause I'm falling so fast tonight,
never thought this would feel so right...
To fall deep into love again for someone like you,
to rekindle our love once lead askew.
But I'm ready... and I hope you are too.

..Please baby, say you are too. [x2]

Dear Daddy

Sitting across the table
And you can't even look at me
The conversation we had Monday
And me wondering what have we come to be

We don't talk anymore
You can't even look me in the eyes
You think it is funny that I wanted to leave
But I am not ready to say any goodbyes

You are my daddy
I love you with all my heart
Even when you drive me crazy
I never want to be apart

Daddy I love you so much
But things in my life are going crazy
I have voices screaming in my head
Making everything seem hazy

I want you to look into my eyes
And see what I hide inside... pain
I have cried so many nights
that my pillow looks like it has been in the rain

I need you to talk to me
Even just for a minute
Please hold me in your arms
Just for a second

You are my daddy
I never want to loose you
I want to stay at home
I really and truly do

But when you say stuff like that
It makes me want to leave
I want to walk out that door
But still hide the tears I don't want you to see

My mind goes none stop
My heart beats in my hand
Red on my wrist
In a nice pretty band

No one can stop me
Or at least not this time
Nothing can help it
Not even a great rhyme

I want to feel something
Something other then pain
I need to feel something
So I know I am not insane

But for now I will not leave
I will stay at home
Because no matter how much we fight
We are still family... flesh and bone