Ashellie's Book of Poetry

Missing Piece

My life is a gigantic puzzle, coming together piece by piece.
One piece I have been looking for for a very long time.
Has finally been found…
He’s got blue eyes, and brown hair.
He’s the missing piece to my life, the one I’ve been looking for.
He completes me, he makes me feel loved.
He makes me… me.
He made my life better.
I love him with all my heart,
Nothing is wrong when I’m with him.
He’s my missing puzzle piece.

Single Rose

Single rose in a crystal vase
Lonely dewdrop tears glisten
Vibrant colors fade to pale

No longer kissed by the sun
Clouds blanket her world
Petals droop in sadness

Love; the waters of life
Evaporated from her world
Thirsting, she slowly dies

Drops of life touch her face
Drinking in the nourishment
Sweet taste of his pure love

Passion, love and tenderness
Now fill her vacant failing heart
Crystal vase now occupied by two

Heart Ache (Triquint)

Words written in verses, they appeal.
Sung about in songs you feel.
Heart ache, all too real.
Ne-er ideal.
Hears.

Emotions which are hard to conceal.
Feelings that are so surreal.
Heart ache, all too real.
Ne-er ideal.
Tears.

Beliefs that if you were to reveal,
Would cause pain too hard to heal.
Heart ache, all too real.
Ne-er ideal.
Fears.

The Same, But Deeper Things

We all know how love can be
But there is more profound part that you haven’t seen
Let my words embrace you now
So you may see what love truly means
Day to day we read lines that are all the same
Love explained in so many different ways
Passion and aroma fills our daily lives
When love embraces our deepest cries

This title could have been “My written DNA”
But what I am planning to explain
May change the way love is portrayed
Your thoughts may be swayed

Three billion characters deep inside us all
This is something remarkable which you all should know
A period of sixty nine year is what it takes to read it all
The DNA inside us all is a miracle on its own.

If I had to read what my DNA would be
Surely I’ll find love of the one who is meant for me
This is how I see it in a complete different way
Of how love can come to be in mysterious hidden ways

I dedicate this poem to the love and the one I chose
For I’ll read his DNA, to learn the love he displays
Sixty nine year isn’t a problem for me
For eternal life is something that was given to me

Finally

Finally with my true love
Lost you once not going to make the same mistake
Never again will I listen to people that make up lies
Because it isn’t right to lose someone so special
You are my true love
Never again will I lose you
I am happy when I am with you all the time
Can’t wait to see you on the weekends
Can’t wait to be with you forever
Finally with my true love again
Can’t believe I lost you the first time
Never again will I hurt you
It makes me sad to see you upset…

In All Honesty

To be honest
As single individuals
I think we’re both just a mess
Of human insecurities
At least, that’s how it seems
Some days
The days when we’re apart
But together
I swear there’s nothing in the world
That makes more sense than us
And the way our bodies fit so perfectly
With each finger laced tight around the other

To be honest
It wasn’t your music that dream me to you
To me, it was something deeper
It was the way you challenged everything in your way
Went against all odds to follow your dreams
It was the way you sang your heart to the world
And took absolutely nothing for granted
Because you worked so hard to get where you are today
It was your strength
Your passion
Your heart

To be honest
I never wanted any of this
Until my eyes glued to yours that night
You are the reason I wake with a feeling of completion
And drift to dreams with such a sensation of peace
Your words lift me from the heavy days
But your embrace makes me fall to my knees
I’ve never touched the soul of perfection
Until my heart met with your hands
Because you hold every ounce of my being with care
To make sure the world’s harm never grazes my skin
It’s the way I still feel your love from hundreds of miles away
The way you make me dream bigger when I’m awake
The feeling that life will only get better from here
The feeling of breathlessness
And being “at home” anywhere in the world
As long as you’re by my side

To be honest
I really do love you with every bit of my existence
I’ve never felt more alive
And I’ve never been more excited to live

To be honest
I can’t wait to live my life without you by my side

You Came

When I saw it was you,
Heading to my seat I lit up.
I couldn’t believe you came.

Mommy, you came to my recital.
My tenth year of dancing and you came.
I was so full of joy I almost burst with happiness.

That day you were supposed to call, but you didn’t.
Instead you gave me the surprise of my life.
By showing up to my tenth year.

I was so nervous backstage.
Because I wanted to impress you,
By how good I had gotten.

During awards I got my ten year trophy.
I was so happy you were there to see.
I couldn’t have wished a better thing.

After the show you gave me a hug,
You told me how proud you were of me.
Then gave me my flowers.

I started crying like a baby,
Because you were going back home.
Back up to Maine that same day.

You started to cry too.
I already miss you.
But I’m so happy you came.

If You Love Me… (Rowan’s POV)

I’ll crown you with many crowns
If you’ll say yes
And they’ll stop treating you like a clown
If you’ll agree to come over to my place

You’ll stop living in dreams
As reality swallows you within
All your needs will be met
If you’ll agree to take my hand

I will be your cornerstone, but above all your best friend
And I will buy you a beautiful gown on our special wedding day

You will laugh like a princess and live like a queen
And I will hold my stand and be your forever king

Stories will be written and our pictures portrayed
And life will be a beauty for us all the while

Over and Over

Your gestures don’t fill my desire
I fill my room up in a trash bag
I can’t make a dollar before I’m fired
Come tomorrow, I’ll be evicted
And you’ll ask me to come back
In spite of everything I just said

I’m fighting you off, playing fetch
Just like a vulture’s been led
You’re just another cold to catch
I’d rather sleep on a park bench any day
Then feel you crawl into my bed
You’re pulling until there’s nothing left to say

I’ve set my argument as best as I can
I’ve sealed it well
No, it isn’t easy to have your first love’s hand
Until it’s peacefully glued
But it is easy to say I’ve been to some sort of hell
Now, I’m damn sure I have nothing left to lose

I don’t need a restraining order to keep you away
Don’t need to change my name
Just need some alcohol and we’ll talk another day
Boy, you know I’ve a got a life before me here
It just takes my by surprise
I haven’t seen you in years

My First Real Love

This is how my first love began…

We met through friends
I liked you, but was too shy to say
You likes me too, but was also too shy
One night at our club we went
Dancing, drinking and talking we were
Sending flirt signals
Poking, teasing and laughing
Having a good time we just had to dance
The song we danced to was our ultimate song

Our first kiss on the dance floor
Smiles across each of our faces
Like a slow motion movie
We danced and drank some more
The next morning as we arrive home
You begged me to sleep by you
As we lay, my head on your chest
I just knew this had to be
Felt like love at first sight

Time flew by as we grew stronger
Our love was so pure and strong
Never to let go of what we have
Months are passing
We are so happy nobody could understand us
Always laughing and playing
You are my true love

Now ten thousand miles away from me
Things feel so hard away from you
Maybe this was meant to be
They always say
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
I need you here in my arms
I wanna go back to our very first night and dance
To the very first time you told me you love me
When we could stare into each other’s eyes for hours
Without saying a word you knew everything
You knew what I was thinking
You knew all my deep thoughts I had

Now thinking of my future
Of how I wish we could spend our lives together
How I wish we could spend more time together
This is the story of my first real love
The guy who stole my heart and will always have it
The guy who showed me real love

This is a story of a girl, who loves a guy so much she would move those ten thousand miles just to see him smile,
To see him laugh and cry.
This is the guy who will be first and last true love…

Rowan this story is about you!
I love you boo boo always will!

The Day I Found You

The day I let go of my obsession over him
Was the day I looked up and saw you
You were standing there
So perfect, so amazing
I knew you had to be mine

I found you, my other half
The one who loved me for me
The one who completed my life
The one who holds my heart, and knew what it meant
The one who holds me when I’m scared
The one who knows how I’m feeling before I do
I found you, my other half

The day I let go of my obsession over him
Was the day I looked up and saw you
You were standing there
So perfect, so amazing
And now you are mine

10 Signs You’re Falling in Love

10. You can’t stay mad at him more than a minute, you actually have to try to stay mad at him.
9. You read his text messages over and over again until you’ve got it memorized.
8. You feel shy whenever you’re with him even if you’re usually outgoing.
7. You can’t help, but look at him all the time
6. You always find yourself thinking about him.
5. You realize that you’re always smiling to yourself when you think of him.
4. You start listening to slow love songs.
3. You’ll do anything for him.
2. Just by thinking about him, your heart beats faster and faster.
1. While reading this, there was someone on your mind the whole time.

Love At First Sight (Virtual Love)

Since I saw your image
I felt something about you
As I read your comments my heart jumped so
You sound so sweet when you write a message

Oh dear, I must admit that I’m falling for you
Even I don’t you in real life
But this feeling is stranger
I don’t know how to explain how much I’m longing for you
The one who steals my sleep is you
Cause you’re hunting me through
I cuddled and press my pillow at night
Imaging it was you

I wish you were here
To fulfill my desire
But you are out there

I can’t wait it anymore
I want to be with you
I want to feel your love
Oh baby, I’m so in love with you…

My feelings for you are strong than anything in the world
I don’t know how to explain this…
But I love you so much my darling
This love of mine it’s just for you from heaven sent by our Lord

He Took It Away

I have been through what you can no longer see
I loved a man who can no longer save me
I sing, I dance, I work
At a place where girls are no longer pure

I hated my life but I can’t just go
I have a sibling that is behind my steps
My body was ruined but not I
My soul is within me, that is what they can’t have

I closed myself up and let no other in
That other can’t just be any man
But I am a woman and my heart is soft
I open my eyes and with a blink, he was gone

I was in a accident, I was alone
No one but me and my sibling
Sitting here for him to come
He was gone with my life

He took the money that I created from my job
He took my life
I am no longer useful
The life that I have suffered is no longer here

I gave it up
My life that I have suffered for…
Sorry my dear sibling I have to go…

That Look in Your Eyes…

That look in your eyes…

That look in your eyes
Always puts a smile on my face
Each second each minute
Of my day’s it always makes them
Shiner than ever…

You’re my only star
Up in those cloudy, dark clouds…
With every look I take at you
The more you shine up in the clouds…

You are the one that will always
Shine… just like you’re beautiful smile…
Inside my heart you have brought your light
With you… to fade away the dark
And keep me away from all the loneliness
And painless. That was about to enter
My soul…
But you came right that second
And faded it all away from
My beautiful soul…

All Over Again

I find myself breathing,
But it’s too hard to smile,
Each day that I live,
Is supposed to be worthwhile.

But I find that they’re not,
Trapped by these fears,
So my minutes are wasted,
And flow in my tears.

I’m lost in the darkness,
Controlled by the light,
I can’t wake up to reality,
Now, is that all right?

I’m walking in a daze,
Sometimes feeling nothing at all,
And I’m too afraid to reach out,
Just in case I fall.

I’m in these shallow waters,
Trying not to slip,
Surrounded by my shadow,
I’m slowly losing grip.

And nothing makes sense,
Except the agony inside me,
The road is mark clearly,
But it’s too hard to see.

So I ask myself the question,
What am I doing in this place?
Because it’s just another awakening,
Until fall back down in my face.

And it will start all over,
Just like the day before,
And I’ll just lay jaded,
Damaged on the floor.

No More

I can’t take it anymore.

Rip this maggot-infested core from my being
And use your modern conveniences to
Make it palatable
So that they whose glass eyes are blind to me
Those who laugh at me in their silent sub-consciousnesses
Those who persecute me
May swallow it
And like a strawberry after-taste
May they be pleasantly surprised by the bitter-sweet oblivion they call home

Then, they might just taste the reality of me…

The Broken Daffodil

I opened my petals to you
And nourished your weakness
You grew strong and tall
While you sucked my nectar dry
And then you plucked my petals
One by one
Slowly, painfully…
And trampled me into the dirt

Now you are a skyscraper
Towering over my fossilized remains
Leaving dirty footprints on
The cigarette-burnt trampoline
Of what sadly is still my heart
Pumping, pumping…
Barely audible
To the one it labors for

Farewell to my garden of rocks
I will suffocate you no longer
You can have your beauty again
And win first prize at the fair
Maybe they’ll keep you as a pot plant
Somewhere between the steel and filth
Daylight, night…
Yet darkness all the same.

Setting Free

Burn the flesh
It feels so good
But if I could
Make it okay
I would
But that isn’t the picture
I have to release the pain
So I can stay maintained
And be a normal person
But on the inside I’m not the same
On the inside I’m a helpless stranger
Wanting to break free
Waiting for the moment of freedom
That will never come

Painful Secrets

These roses lay silently
Over an unmarked grave
Of the girl
That finally caved

For so many years
She fought hard to be strong
But she lost it all
She just didn’t belong

She walked through school
With her head hung low
Just to hide the bruises
So no one would know

Her life at home
Wasn’t one to brag about
To deal with the pain
And the vile escaping his mouth

He cursed her name
And through her against the wall
So she said that’s enough
She will no longer crawl

She stood tall
Taking his blows
She fell into a pile
Now everyone knows

He doesn’t visit her grave
No apologies this time
But it’s all right
Because now she flies

I Thought They Wouldn’t

They say I can be anyone
But at the moment I feel like a no one
They say they love me
Yet I’m still not free from misery
They give me everything
But still I feel nothing
They say they’ll understand
But yet if they knew, I know they won’t

Fool Herself

She can’t hide no matter how hard she tries, her secret disguised behind the lies.
And at night she cries away her pride, with eyes shut tight staring at her insides.
All her friends know why she can’t sleep at night, all her family asking is she all right.
All she wants to do is get rid of this hell, well all she’s got to do is stop kidding herself.
She can only fool herself for so long.

Blackened Rain

Sometimes the world is too black to record
Some things are just too often ignored
And sometimes the rain falls harder than then
And it feels that you’ll never stand up straight again

[The blackened rain begins to fall]

Sometimes I try things, to be better I guess
But really, I’m not gaining any success
‘Cause too often one of you will lend a hand
As I shake it away and alone I will stand

[The blackened rain creates a wall]

The rain crashes down on the roof of a room
Silent grey walls shielding silent black gloom
The room starts to shrink from the noise up above
You’re the only one left, apart from a dove

[The blackened rain makes you feel so small]

Never Say Forever

Never say I love you, if you really don’t care.
Never talk about feelings, if they aren’t really there.
Never hold my hand, if you are going to break my heart.
Never say you are going to, if you don’t plan to start.
Never look into my eyes, if all you do is lie.
Never say hell, if you really mean goodbye.
If you really mean forever, then at least try.
Never say forever, because forever makes me cry.

Never Say Forever

Memories of me and you just linger in my head,
You told me that you loved me
I said I loved you too.
I thought you really meant it, I thought you told me the truth.
If you really loved me, then why aren’t you here?
You said you’d never hurt me and we’d be together forever?
But I guess forever is just another useless word.

When I see you, it hurts so bad.
I could see how much I cared for you, and wanted to be with you.
I feel like I’m a fool just madly, deeply in love.
I had opened up and let you in my heart.
But all you did was take advantage.

I’ve been thinking about what’s right and I need to move on.
Ever since the day we met to the last time we made love, will be cherished.
Those nights were for me and you,
With a love of passion, it was supposed to be true.
I gave you my heart, and all of my trust.
You have taught me so much that I have ever hoped to ever learn.
I’ll always have a special place for you in my heart.
But I now have to look to the future for a brand new start.
I won’t forget your smile or the way you made me feel.
A strange and unique bond that’s more than just appeal.
You were my first and only true love of my life.

I gave you a precious gift, you gave me one too.
You told me you loved me, but it wasn’t true.
It did crush me at first,
Now I just want to move on since you are forever gone.
You really did break my heart in two.
You’re not the first one, who looked at me and lied,
But I did think you were different,
I thought you were the one and I would spend the rest of my life with.
But that is done with, us is done with.