Ashellie's Book of Poetry

You’re To Blame

I'm not sure I can say that I’ve been in love before you
Even though I've said those words I can't admit that they were true
I've had people come in my life that I swore would stay there for good
But now as I look into your eyes I'm not sure how I ever thought they would
A love like ours is so real and true
All I can ever think about it the next time I get to be next to you
I feel so sad for all those years I've wasted
And for all those fake kisses I have tasted
I wish with everything I have it could have always been just you
But then I'm not sure I would appreciate everything you do
"Love is always patient love is always kind"
But before you those words had never crossed my mind
Before you love was just a date at the mall
Then I realize how much that wasn't love at all
It's hard to describe to you how much you have changed me
I can't really is was changing I guess baby you just saved me
They say you don't want to admit when you're first love was lost
I will never admit it because since our paths have crossed
After you my world will never be the same
All the love I thought I had before is lost and you are completely to blame

If You Love Me

I'll crown you with many crowns
If you'll say yes
& they'll stop treating you like a clown
If you'll agree to come over to my place

You'll stop living in dreams
As reality swallows you within
All your needs will be met
If you'll agree to take my hand

I will be your cornerstone but above all your best friend
& I will buy you a beautiful gown on your special wedding day

You will laugh like a princess & live like a queen
& I will hold my stand & be your forever king

Stories will be written & our pictures portrayed
& life will be a beauty for us all the way

The Love That Never Died Story

There once was a boy.
Destined to find his one true love.
He wanted the perfect girl.
One who was sent from above.

He kept on looking everyday.
And he had a few on his mind.
But it was that one special girl.
That he really wanted to find.

Then one day at school.
He was walking through the hall.
And as he looked up.
It was his one special girl he had saw.

He made eye contact with her.
And she gave him a smile.
He had no idea...
That they would meet in a while.

He tried to think of ways to meet her.
And what he would say.
He had no idea...
That she was thinking the same way.

Then that special day came.
That he had been waiting for.
He met her at a basketball game.
And there was nothing he had wanted more.

They hit it off from the start.
Flirting the whole time.
He really knew in his heart.
That she was truly one of a kind.

Soon after they met.
They got together.
They were so much alike.
And wanted it to last forever.

Then this one special night came.
When she caught him by surprise.
She told him she loved him.
As she looked into his eyes.

The boy was so happy.
He couldn't believe she felt the same way.
"I love you too".
Was all that he could say.

When they were together.
Nothing else mattered.
He had no idea...
His heart was soon to be shattered.

He learned she had been talking to another guy.
And flirting with him behind his back.
So he broke up with her.
And happiness is what he would forever lack.

He tried so hard to hold her tight.
And never let her go.
But for all that hard work.
He had nothing left to show.

She told him she didn't like him anymore.
And that she liked the other guy.
All the boy had running through his mind.
Was that one question, why?

He had so many questions left unanswered.
And didn't know what else to do.
How could she break his heart.
When she was the first to say, "I love you".

Time and time had passed.
And the boy was still not over her.
He finally knew what to do.
And that was for sure.

He would end his life.
The bullet pierced straight threw his heart.
It didn't hurt him so bad.
Because it was already torn apart.

That night the girls phone rang.
Then she got the bad news.
The boy took his own life.
The one she had abused.

The girl sat in her room.
Thinking about what she had done.
It didn't take her long to realize.
That he was really the one.

He did everything for her.
And he was there for her when she was down.
As she opened the purse he gave back to her.
There was a letter, she had found.

"Dear one true love.
I hope your happy with the choice you made.
My heart is so torn apart.
You know the one you had played.

I said I will always love you.
My words always stay so true.
Your not the same girl anymore.
The one I thought I knew.

Don't worry my heart will weep for you.
While I'm watching over you from up above.
No matter how bad you have hurt me.
You are still my one true love."

The girls tears fell on the floor into a puddle.
As she sat there crying on her knees.
She sat there crying for hours.
Screaming why did this happen to me.

She really still loved him.
But she hid her true feelings from the world.
She thought they would be back together someday.
What a poor little girl.

So she spent the rest of her life single.
Saving herself until she could see him again.
Her words were really true.
Like when she said she'd love him until the end.

She was happy to find out.
That when her day came after she grew so old.
That he really waited for her.
And walking through Heavens Gate, his hand...
She would tightly hold.

Twenty Things I Love About You

You are smart and intelligent
You are kind and considerate
You are giving and trusted
Simple and meek in a way that's kinda fly

You are giving and caring
Brotherly with love that's true
You are pure and cool
You are honest with a persona that's modest

You are not a star or a celebrity
Yet there's something in you that i just can't get enough of
You are gorgeous and gentle
And your laughter leave my cheeks with a label

You are open and tell it like it really is
You cry when you want to
You fuss when you're mad
You laugh when its alright and stand when you fall

You give without taking
You heal when there's hurting
You brighten when there's darkness
And your heart is like that of a Princess

You are trusted
And your soul is blended with mercy

Always Thinking Of You

I always remember that day we first met, that was a happy day, one I wont forget.

I’m glad you came into my life, you had helped me through it all, you always would catch me when i would fall.

I no we have out ups and downs but we forgive every time we fight, I always think of you almost every night.

We fight at school and fight at home, but I no you have a heart of stone.

Your there for me and I’m there for you, we have each other we can tell everything to.

I love your smile and I miss your hugs, I’m just glad to see you with happiness in your eyes every time you look at me

Carvings In The Wall

It seems like for so long
My life has been written upon the wall
That was until God
Answered my call

He sent me an angel to be with me
As I watched the poison swirl
I just didn’t know He would send me
The world’s most beautiful boy

You saved me from myself
You resuscitated my soul
Now I have a reason to live
Now I know what it feels like to be whole

You all thought you knew me
Because you simply watched me fall
But this is the part where I rise a again
I’m carving this section of my story in the wall

One Step At A Time

Oh no it seems
I am in love again
It’s been so long since the last time
I can’t remember when

I’ve been in this place before
And please let me impart
I’ve rushed into this before
And all it did was break my heart

So let’s take a step back
And just take a breath
I just want you to know
I will be by your side until death

But don’t be mistaken, you are the one
For whom I’m writing this rhyme
I’m just saying let’s take it slowly
One step at a time…

My Mistake

I made a big mistake, never again
Losing you was the worst ever
Listening to other people was wrong
Never to listen to them again
I messed up a lot
I will correct the things I did, badly
I will change my mistakes
I will do anything for you, to stay with you forever
I will never make the mistake of listening to the drama
I don’t want to lose you again
You are the best thing ever, don’t know how I made that mistake
The mistake that made me lose you
Never again will I make the same mistake

Fall Back Into Me

Imagine the ocean caressing a sandy white beach,
where the sunset would have its own stage.
Or perhaps a child rescuing a stray puppy.
The look on the animals face when it's liberated from the cage.

These precious moments will forever struggle
to everyday pursue the goal of measuring up to
the enticing rare beauty and breathless joy
shining in this world because of you.

Unexpectedly, you were unmercifully entwined
with a fate you neither welcomed or choose.
Something far worse than losing a job
or not being able to afford some clothes.

It was lurking around the corner,
but did not make itself known.
Delivered in a ruthless way.
Something that’s not aloud to be postponed.

Resentment and confusion,
anticipated emotions to arise.
No one should be forced to
say that type of goodbye.

Your children look up to you,
see someone who is strong and wise.
It kills them to see you in a
hurt state, with water filled eyes.

We are here,
you're not alone.
We will together become
your rock through the cyclone.

You have done what you can.
No one expects any more.
You deserve someone to wipe your tears,
like you have done so many times before.

I love you and respect you beyond belief,
you try so hard to make sure others are alright.
You are always there to get a family game started
or to help intervene and mend what started a fight.

Life has thrown a curve ball,
but you will make it through.
You posses amazing children and a loving husband.
Never will you be abandoned, you have me too.

You have a loving family and close friends.
You will make it through this as a family, together.
You are not alone with these agonizing feelings.
You will not be worn down by this cruel weather.

I will keep you in my prayers,
every morning and night.
Just please remember, you
are not alone in this fight.

Contorted Perfection

You have a pull on my heart
no matter how far you are.
You make me hope that one day my life will
become that wish being carried on a shooting star.

It makes no sense for
my heart to crave you.
You're so ruthless and bitter.
But every time, right on cue.

Just a single glance
in your glistening eyes.
My stomach gets filled with clouds
and I’m walking on butterflies.

Why can't I be attracted to
someone healthy for me?
Instead, I get the
ex-convict to be.

There is no justified reason for us to
be together, besides the connection.
That's why you will always just
be my contorted perfection.

Not Just My Mom

My mom is but a mom
She is my very best friend
She is my inspiration, my hope
To be with me to the end

I love my mom because
She watches me as I grow
She cried the day I told her that
God; I had come to know

She cooks sort of well
She cleans WAY too much
But that's my mom and she really has
An amazing sparkling touch

The Christmastime season
The cookie making time
She just so jolly and funny and
I'm proud to say she's a friend of mine.

My Little Brother

O, Little Brother
how many mistakes you make
how many risks you take
how many lies you fake
how many cookies we still have to bake
how many swims in the lake
how many leaves to jump in and rake
O, for goodness sake
how you make my heart ache

Daddy, Here’s To You

Daddy please come back
There not your family I am
I still remember everything
but that was when you gave a damn

I just saw you yesterday
You seemed so happy with your new family
You didn't even acknowledge i was there
I'm miserable can't you even see

You have a new daughter now
I'm your daughter too pay attention
I came to see you not to watch you love them
I'm filling with so much tension

Please daddy you know how much i cry
they don't love you I do i love you
I don't get any sleep at all
I try and try but there's nothing I can do

You don't even know details of my life
You don't know my hobbies or favorite sports
At least talk to me a little bit
Give me a little support

You made a mistake leaving this family
And still you can't realize it
I'm suffering from your mistake
you want to come back just finally admit

You know how much I hear about fathers
Everyone ask me what you do for me
You know what I say to them
My father doesn't love me can't you see

I was once your little girl
But only for a few years
Than you left us with sorrow
And me with a few tears

I'm tired of you picking us up
And than ignoring me when I'm there
I'm your creation too
Just stop pretending you care

Grandma And Grandpa

My Grandpa was a really nice man
he is a Vietnam veteran
he had only two sons and no daughters
my dad said that they didn't really bother each
other.

My dads mom my grand mother
is supposed to be a saint
or she acted like one anyway
if you asked her to do something
she would do it no problems

but they both are dead now
it was very sad
I can speak for my whole family
that all of us were mad
they seemed like the people that
would live forever.

I want to be like them someday
a veteran for a war or
close to a saint at least
give a homeless person a hamburger
it would be like a feast to them at least

My grandpa and grandma
are the most loving people in the world
I want to be just like them.
A veteran for a war or close to a saint at least.

Hearts Inflamed

There’s a flame in my heart which emits from the start
Enchanted words luring me to enter this breathtaking art

The inflamed clouds at sunset so serene
With visions of love caressing what is meant to be

My eye’s inflamed with tears of this perfect love so sincere
As my hearts desires were cleansed by his flaming tease

Intensity erupts as our hearts were inflamed
My sense indulged with adore throughout my veins

His alluring smile paints the colors of my dreams
Passion and affection flowing with such an ease

With hearts inflamed our souls captivate all that remains
Essence of love pours out embracing all that we contain
What Love Means

Like a precious golden ring
My love has no ending
It’s strong enough to share
Because I know how I care
I’m waiting for it to come to me
Nightly and daily
I have a warm loving soul
That needs to stay whole
Know what love really means
I pray it’s not just in my dreams

Love From Within

Love that comes from within
Should be pure, without sin
I’m still patiently waiting
For heartfelt loving
I know it’s out there
Someplace, but where?

Always ever searching
For a new beginning
Maybe, before I’m too old
Love will come to me tenfold
It should be given freely
So I can feel it deeply

Do You Mind?

Excuse me, this may seem blunt,
But do you mind if I love?
Do you mind if I call you my love,
And pronounce to the world I have found heaven on earth?
Would it be okay if I love you with all my heart,
Holding nothing back?
Is it okay that I need you everyday,
Because I want to make you a special part of me?
Would it be alright if you were the one
That makes the sun shine a little bit brighter?
You could be the one that makes the stars
At night a little more romantic.
The one I’m holding next to the fireplace
As our eyes are hypnotized by the flames of our passion.
Can you be the one that allows me
To start the day with hope and happiness?
The one I look forward to sharing my night.
Is it okay if we just held hands today?
Can I just hold you?
Would it be a problem if we were
To go deep in each other’s thoughts and feelings?
Will you be my best friend;
My lover;
My husband;
My smile;
My comfort,
My everything?
Excuse me, handsome
I don’t mean to bother you,
But, do you mind if I love you?

It’s Not Just Another Day

It’s not just another day anymore since I met him
Everyday we wake up next to each other is different
From the way we say good morning to the way we
Look into each other’s eyes
Some days we just get up with a smile and meet at the end of the bed for a kiss and a hug.

It’s not just another day in my life
There is no more hurt or pain from past mistakes
There is no more sadness or hanging my head in shame to look up
There is no more saying I’m sorry for things I had not done
Now everyday is a brand new day, with something new.

It’s never the same ol’, same ol’… with him
He plays with me like a teenage boy would play with a new car
Primping, fixing and complimenting at every little turn
Always telling me how beautiful I am and how good I
Make him feel and how happy he is that I have come into
His life.

From swimming in the pool, to sun tanning, riding the harley,
Walking a yard sale or a flea market
Shopping at the mall
Or the grocery store, or just hanging out on the couch watching
‘The Crew’ play or catching a movie or two with some popcorn
He always knows how to make me laugh or cry
Never hurting me threatening to say goodbye

He’s a great daddy, best friend, lover and husband…
Whom I love and enjoy everyday
Because everyday with him is a new and exciting day
And it’s not just another day gone by wondering where
It went… But a beautiful one happily spent!

You

Sitting here realizing that we were always meant to be;
All the talks, the laughing.
God meant you for me.
But sometimes I wonder,
And want to know these things I ponder,
Will never show for I don’t love you, like I did before.
I just want to leave,
And walk out the door.
I want my own life to live,
Without you there,
But when I fall to the ground,
I’ll be all alone and that’s what haunts me,
When I’m in bed alone.

I don’t love you like I did before
And if I could tell you;
You’d be the one to walk through the door.
You are not the one,
I have to tell the truth,
So when you get on one knee,
And I give you my destiny and youth.

This marriage is a lie,
For I never really loved you,
Until the day I die,
You’ll never know what I wanted to do.
To tell you no, and just let go.
I would have broken your heart.
I should have stopped talking just from the start.
Now as I realize, I’m a silly girl,
There’s only one person meant for me
In this world and
That’s you…

My Love For You

Many a night, I stood at my window, gazing at the stars shining so bright.
How I wished I could have been with you and that you could have held me tight.
Days drifting by so slowly and lonely, there was nothing I could do.
I wanted you to be with me forever and each day to be filled with happiness;
Make my pledge of love each day anew, silently and hopelessly I loved you.
How does a soul keep on believing when a situation is hopeless as can be?
In dark despair, I stumbled all alone, waiting for a miracle to happen.
Some light at the end of the tunnel.
Many times, I asked God why, why did he let me fall in love with a man that would never be mine?
Desire so strong I just had to try, at times too jealous and at times too shy.
Endless days and countless nights, I was spellbound by your love.
Nothing else mattered, just you.
All reasoning had left me for a while.
How our hearts does dictate our every thought and all that we do.
My mind went round in circles, hopelessly wanting to have you near.
I know you felt that way too.
God, grant you find another who will love you.
The throne is empty now, but for the memories, you left there to linger.
My feelings about you will never change.
Always and forever, you will be my angel, the one I see at my safe place at the lake.
I will never leave and say goodbye, but meet you there for the rest of my days.
In real life, you will meet, I know within my heart,
A girl to cherish and to love you she will try as tenderly and truthfully as I.

A Name in the Sand

There is was, a name so fine written upon the sand.
Not yet washed away by the tide that floods the beach everyday.
I engraved it upon the sand,
A transitory proof of the feelings I hold for you.
On bended knees,
While the wind fondled my hair.
My face directed to where I know you to be.
Seagulls cried as twilight fell.
My pace quickened to return home
Before I lost the light.

Living with the Pain

My heart beats faster when you speak my name.
I hope and pray this love’s not the same.
Your eyes shine bright when they look in mine.
When I’m with you, there is no time.
You touch my arm and I feel static.
I can’t focus my breathings erratic.
You make me laugh at stupid jokes.
They all smile and nod at our funny hoax.
Our time together makes me smile.
Please say you’ll stay for a while.

I love how you talk like I’m the only one.
Your stare is intense, even when you make fun.
I find out the truth, and I know it’s alright.
But I will not lose a friend over a fight.
She likes you and it seems to work out.
Maybe in the end, I don’t even count.
You laugh with me, and smile at her.
My spirit breaks, but it doesn’t matter.
My friends mean more to me than guys.
Please believe my stack of lies.
My heart beats faster when you speak my name.
You hug her tightly, and I hide my shame…

As I See You

As I see your sweet face, so perfect and so demure.
As I look at your eyes, so amazing and pure.
To me you are the most perfect man that I see
Laying so quietly for only me to see.

As I gaze upon your skin, so soft and fair.
I’m so amazed at you and your flowing hair.
I smile to myself at how perfect you are
And how amazingly you outshine any star.

“I love you, my sweet man” I say
And wish the best for us within my head.
“I love you, my love” I say one more time,
Caressing your skin, so glad that you are truly mine.
“I love you baby” I softly say, and wish for you
Sweet dreams as sleep takes you away.

And as I watch you softly fade into your dreams,
I revel in the perfection of your face and body.
“Oh, your sweet body” I say to myself
As you fade into the darkness with dreams in your head.
I whisper as I see you fade fast. “Baby, I love you and I know our love will last…”
So I kiss your sweet nape as I watch you sleep,
Smiling to myself knowing that you’re the man
I so deeply want to keep.

My Lucky Charm

You are my lucky charm.
I love you so much and I long for your touch.
You are my lucky charm.
You hold me close and always keep me safe and away from harm.
As I gaze up and wish upon a star so bright,
I want to make love with you all through the night.
Baby, you truly are my lucky charm
And I’m so very happy and so deeply in love.
At night I pray to God above that our love be so wonderful…
So pure…
An everlasting love.

Honey, It’s You

Honey, it’s you that always dries the gentle tear
That falls from my eye.
I know that you don’t like to see me cry.

Honey, it’s you that I love so very, very much.
Your sweet kiss… Your warm touch, make my adrenaline rush.

When I first met you, I knew you were the man I fell in love with
And I wondered to myself “was this God’s plan?”
For you, was that “WONDERFUL MAN!”

Honey, it’s you that makes me smile each and everyday
Knowing that our love is here to stay
Our love is a love that I will forever treasure,
It’s a love one cannot measure.

So, as I drift to sleep tonight,
I will pray that you will forever be mine.
Your heart and your soul I pray that I will forever keep
And I pray this to you my love as I softly weep.