Ashellie's Book of Poetry

Just Friends?

I love you more every day,
My name I long for you to say.
Do you know just how I feel?
Do you know this love is real?
Sometimes I wonder what you think.
When you hear my name, do your cheeks turn pink?
Do you dream about me every night?
Wish to hug me and hold me tight?
Do you think we’re meant to be?
Together forever, you and me?
These are the questions that run through my mind,
Your way into my heart, you did find.
It drives me crazy as to what I should do.
Should I risk a friendship and confess to you?
Or should I keep my feels inside,
Keep them locked up, let them hide?
I just don’t know what to do anymore,
My heart it aches, my heart it’s sore.
I love you more than you could know,
And I don’t want to ever let you go.
So even if I’m just a friend,
I’ll always love you until the end.

Keeping It a Secret...

Has memories of the pass flash before me.
I notice that you were the one that brought so much happiness.
With every moment I remember about you.
I wish you were really only mine all over again.
But I know deep inside me,
That we'll never be together.
So many walls get in our way for being one.
It makes me wonder if those are the signs ,
That we better off being apart

Frequently you were running through my mind.
Making my heart jump with ever thought.
Giving me those wild butterflies inside.
As time went by I thought it was just all a big crush

But it was never just a crush.
It was something wonderful to feel.
A feeling that I can never be describe in words.

I think about you and the one I'm with now.
That he never gave me this weird feeling when I was with you.
He kisses always so passionate but never like your's.
His hold always so tight and loose at the same time,
But never quiet like your's.
Your holds were unique every time making me forget about the world.
Feeling that your arms around me are my only shield I need.
Your kisses would always leave my mind blankness.
Leaving my lungs gasping for air.

But it doesn't matter I want to hide this feeling I have for you.
Never to be shown to the world.
Be locked forever cause I don't want to feel this way for you anymore
It hurts to much.
It's tearing me inside.
Making me over think everything.
Confusing my thoughts and feelings.

Everything would be just perfectly fine if I didn't felt this way.
Everything I'm thinking about right now would have never been in my mind in the first place.
Those butterflies would just disappear right out of me.
But if I could really do that.
Erase what I'm truly feeling for you.
But I could hide them forever from you.
And the only one that would be getting hurt here would be me.
You would have never have one thought in your mind that I love you.
That I love you so much that I gotta keep it a secret from you.

Goodbye

So hard to say it
Unable to type
Goodbye
Made my fingers paralyzed
Not to make it hard on you
Not to make you suffer
Like I do
I smiled with tears in my eyes
Sent you a flower
To stay with you never die
I walked away thinking
We are still friends
But this feeling didn’t seem right
Something did really
Hurt… deep… so deep inside
Tears dropped so hard
Not from my eyes
Tears looked so red
From my heart I realized
Try to forget my pains. Go!
Fly away never look back
Keep flying don’t stop…
You found your way…
How can I fly?
You were my wings
How can I cry?
My tears dried up
When you took away with you
My feelings…
Yet… Life goes on…

Thin

Power is control.
Control is tough.
Bones are beautiful
When thin isn’t enough.

Me Against The World

I lie here tonight and close my eyes
I’m done now, I can’t do it anymore
I’m ready to settle the score
With the world.
I have every reason to scold!

They can’t appreciate what I do.
They crush my self-esteem,
They don’t want me on the tear.
I listen to the music of my heart,
It wasn’t this dark at the start.
Tears fall like rain,
From these eyes of fire.
No, I don’t think you’ll ever tire
From the withering pain you cause me.
I really don’t think you’re ready to see

What waits for you beyond that door.
I’m lying here in the dark,
It eats me alive like a rapid shark.
I don’t think you understand, I’m my own master
I am the soul creator of this disaster!

Every Day

A searing heart beats within this chest.
I’m not the same as all the rest.
Inside of me, it feels like its dying,
But all it really is doing is crying.

Screaming and bleeding, is how I feel.
Talk to me politely and break this seal.
No one really knows what to say,
When I tell them the life I live, each day.

They all look at me and see
The girl I never wanted to be.
They see my tears across my eyes,
And now they’ll help me fix these lies.

He was the only one who spoke the truth
He didn’t make me feel like the “Broken Tooth”
He always told me what I wanted to hear
Now I won’t even shed a tear.

A searing heart beats within my chest
He’s not like all the rest.
This lonely heart was once dying,
But now it’s not even crying.

This is something weird that I feel
He smiled at me and broke the seal
No one really knows what to say,
When I smile each and every day.

Different

Time to close the door and turn out the lights.
Lie down my head to sleep the night away
And dream of the very next day.
There are so many people in the world,
So I’ll tell you what I’ve been told!

Appreciation can go such a long way
I just have to ignore you and keep up my self-esteem
That way, I’ll always be on the team.
I’ll just close my eyes and listen to the music of my heart.
No matter what you say this life is gonna start.

Look up to the sky, just to see the rain
It’ll put out this burning fire
No, I’m not ready to retire
You may have given up on me,
But I know I’m ready to see

What waits for me beyond that door.
Open my eyes to see the light
Let’s start the new day and forget the night.
I may be different from you,
But if I set my mind, there’s nothing I can’t do.

The Angel’s Game

Darling, you confined in my completely
And if you even try to look the other way
I think that I may kill this time
Am I all right? Are you insane?

Lend me a hand
And come with me
To the end
Let us play the Angel’s Game tonight

Darling, you confined in my completely
And if you even try to look the other way
Another victim will crash
I think that I may kill myself this time,
Once and for all.

Let’s play the Angel’s Game
It sounds like fun now.
Ha-ha let’s laugh out loud
Death is like the Angel’s Game.

Darling, you confined in me completely
And if you even try to look the other way
I won’t fall. I won’t die.
I’ll just play the Angel’s Game
Tonight…

Dying World

Does anyone know me?
Know who I truly am?
That I wallow in darkness’ pity
My soul craves loneliness
If no, do they understand?
How can they understand how I feel?!
That sadness caresses my wounds
Bringing them to sting
Do they even care?
Why would they?
I’ll just turn my back like always
For even I am lost

That Girl

She was used to it all, as it happened
Every hateful word that was said
Every action that was taken
All directed in hate towards her
Her face, her body, even her personality
All attacked by those who never knew her.
She sat alone in the far desk at school
She stayed in her room at home
And never left.
She wore a white t-shirt with her own words
Written on the front:
“If you can never understand my silence,”
And on the back:
“you will never understand my words…”
As she walked, people laughed
If she ran, they laughed
If she talked, they laughed
They laughed at her every move
At her every sound
But he was the one who stood there
And held her hand
He loved her through everything
He is why she is happy.
He is her life.

Your Name

I wrote your name across the sky,
But the wind blew it all away.
I wrote your name in the sands,
But the tide washed it all away.
I wrote your name in my heart
And forever it will stay.

I wrote your name on paper,
But I accidentally threw it away.
I wrote your name on my hand,
But I washed it the next day.
I wrote your name in my heart
And forever it will stay.

She’s An Angel

Tears of enchanting beauty
Eyes of graceful green
Each time I look at her
I feel my sorrow fade like magic
She makes me smile
Even on the darkest of days
I can truthfully say
She has the lips of an angel

I shiver by the gently touch
Of her hand on mine
She may not be bright
But I know it’s who she is
I love her anyway…

She looks into my eyes
And I feel myself melt inside
I know she’s shy, but
I can’t help but stare
She’s an angel to my eyes…

Have You

Have you ever cried?
Ever felt stinging tears
Roll down your face?

Have you ever loved?
Ever felt your heart skip a beat
Each time you saw their face?

Have you ever lived?
Ever felt the joy
Of just being here?

Have you ever been heart-broken?
Ever felt the pain of someone
Ripping your heart out of your chest?

Have you ever died inside?
Ever felt the feeling of your
Soul fading from your body?

Summer Rain

Looking up to the sky, and close my eyes
Soft rain drops against my cheeks roll down like tears.
I block out the roaring thunder and listen to the sounds of the Earth.
Life can be so peaceful, when you listen to the summer rain.

Without You

Close my eyes to dream away
Dream away this world
And fade into my own world
Where I feel wanted and loved
And no one will take away that feeling
I walk in darkness to dream
And dream I do
But without you in my life
I can’t dream at all
My thoughts are deep
Sometimes I can’t even speak
Here I go again, I’m off again in my world
Take a look at me, what do you see?
I’m just a dreamer with an empty mind
(Without you)
I’m just an artist with an empty soul
(Without you)
I’m just a girl with a broken heart
(Without you)
I need you here by my side,
To help me dream once again.

I Miss

Looking at my reflection
In this broken mirror,
I see your face, but you walk away
Maybe I’m just losing my mind
I close my eyes to remember
To remember you.
I miss the sound of your voice
I miss the feel of your skin
I miss your gentle kiss
I miss your breath on my neck
I miss you
When you aren’t here beside me,
I can’t think
I can’t speak
I can’t even move
Cause
I miss the sound of your voice
I miss the feel of your skin
I miss your gentle kiss
I miss your breath on my neck
I miss you…
I miss you…

I Don’t Know

I don’t know why
But I forget how to cry
No more tears in my eyes,
All seems to be dry
I don’t know why
But I forget how to laugh
That entire smile was a lie,
A pose, a hoax, a bluff.

I don’t know what else
Is left for me.
I’ve tried my best
To be more friendly.

It’s not my will
To be emotionless.
So whatever I ‘feel’,
I always try to keep it real.

Everlasting Love

As I stand here today with the world as my witness,
I pledge to you my undying and everlasting love.
I will stand beside you as your partner,
I will stand before you as your protector,
And I will stand behind you as your solace.
Please spend and end your life with me.

Untitled

A stranger’s eyes are looking in through the broken glass
As the blonde girl watches her reflection
In the shattered mirror.

She turns, her eyes meeting the stranger’s blue ones.
She blinks, but does not scream.
She says, “I feel like I’ve met you before, stranger.”

He replies with a smile, “Then I am not a stranger.”
She couldn’t hide her smile. “But I’ve forgotten your name.”
He nods, never stops smiling. “*****.”

Was all he said to make her heart beat faster
And she just simply states. “******.”
By just their names, they remember a past of love,

Trust and more.
They had with each other…
He embraces her, whispering in her ear…

“I’ve never stopped loving you, my fearful princess.”

Loving Bond

A loving bond which is not broken by tears,
Nor pain,
Not hate.

A loving bond which is not broken by
Background,
Nor race.

A man and a woman.
Met beyond a shattered glass
And yet touched as if there were nothing between them.

That love…
Still lingers over them…

Untitled

Don’t let life escape,
Don’t let it pass you.
Embrace your life,
While it still exists.
Don’t give up,
Because it’s too hard.
Daylight still shines,
I wish you could see it.
You’re not alone,
And there is still hope.
Things seem dark,
But I’ve been there too.

You think you’re alone,
But it’s just not true.

My Best Friend Poem

I was sitting here thinking of the words I want to say, but they just wouldn’t come out
Right—so I found a different way.
I got a piece of paper and I wrote this poem for you, but there’s no way to thank you for
Everything you do.
For always being nice to me and staying by my side, for helping fix my problems and never leaving me behind.
For accepting my thoughts and feelings, though you do not understand, for never giving
Up on me and being my best friend.
For making me laugh and letting me cry and saying you’d miss me if I were to die.
Everything you mean to me you could never know.
In all the ways you’ve changed my life I could never show.
The way you take care of me, (you’re my shining star) and though it’s so incredible that’s
Just the way you are.
Before I get too mushy it’s time for me to go, but before I leave this ink-filled paged there’s one thing you should know…
As long as we are living, no matter when or where, if you ever need me just call and I’ll
Be there.
I’ll climb a thousand mountains and swim a thousand seas… Anything to be there because you’ve been there for me.

What is it that I love?

If asked why I love him I would say,
It’s the lust in his lips,
The love in his eyes.
It’s the softness of his skin,
The silk in his hair.
It’s the twist in his walk;
It’s the sweetness in his talk.
It’s the way he loves me
That makes me love him each day.
That is what I would say.

Is It Love

I look into your eyes,
You look into mine.
Is it love?
I think about you all the time,
You are my only thought.
Is it love?
I cry when you are mean to me,
I smile when you’re nice.
Is it love?
I see you with another girl,
I get jealous.
Is it love?
I look at you and I blush.
My face is as red as a rose.
Is it love?
You hug me.
I return the favor.
Is it love?
You kiss me.
Your lips are so soft…
Is it love?