Ashellie's Book of Poetry

Forgotten Truth

I’ll be searching forever in your eyes,
For that truth that I seek.
I’ll look for it through all the lies,
I don’t want my future to be so bleak.

Close out the dark, listen to your beating heart.
Let yourself go into my living night.
Wake with a jolt at the very start.
In this world, everything starts to tear.

Sweat runs slowly down your face,
And you quickly begin to panic.
You feel as if you’re vanishing without a trace.
Oh, so very tragic…

I’m still searching forever in your eyes.
Swimming, searching, for the truth I seek.
I’m drowning all of your lies.
Why, why does the future seem bleak?

Have you ever wondered
Just what the forgotten truth really is?
My whole world is upside down, getting plundered.
Within your eyes, there’s no heavenly bliss.

I’m searching forever in your eyes
That forgotten truth in which I seek.
(For us)
I’m drowning in your pool of lies.
(Lust)
Why, why does our future look so bleak?
(Trust?)

Are you listening to my beating heart?
(Alive)
Are you terrified of my living nightmare?
(That lives within me?)
Did you ever love me at the start?
(You won’t survive)
Listen carefully; you’ll hear my beating heart beginning to tear!
(You’re blind of what you need to see)

That the forgotten truth isn’t in your eyes.
(I’ve been searching for way too long)
It lies deep within mine.
(It stares at you through a broken mirror)
Are you drowning inside your own pool of lies?
(The passion is gone)
The sun can no longer shine
(In my eyes of fire. You can’t shed a tear)

Closing out the dark to listen to my beating heart.
It’s the nightmare, gone, and I am sheer
To win, I didn’t know at the start.
Listen to me; I can’t shed a… Tear!

No more searching within your eyes.
There’s no truth for me to seek.
(I finally see)
I’m still drowning in your pool of lies.
If you ask me, your future is looking pretty bleak
(When you’re without me.)

Why is it?

There’s a love here left unknown.
I close my eyes and his image is beside me.
I open them, he’s gone.
A warm breeze reminds me of his touch.
When it ends, I feel cold.
A touch to soft red lips, I can feel his gentle, longing kiss.
When the touch fades, I feel his kiss lingering over my lips.
Why is it, he’s always on my mind?
Why is it, I feel his presence everywhere?
He told me it couldn’t work, but we both feel…
Maybe it can and we’re just afraid…
To set the future now?

Why is it? (Part 2)

There’s a love left unknown between us.
You and me.
When I close my eyes, I see his image right beside me.
When I open them, he’s gone.
When the warm breeze blows against me,
I can feel his touch.
When it fades, I feel cold.
As I sleep, there’s a cool caress on my lips
And I feel his kiss.
When I wake, the kiss lingers.
Why is it his presence is always her,
But his heart is not near me?
Could it be that he loves me,
But is afraid to give up his heart?

Someone

As a child, all you really need is
Someone who cares about you;
Someone to hold you;
Someone to say ‘I love you’
And mean it.
But when you grow up,
That someone fades…

Mother, sister, brother…

Close your eyes just to shut out all the pain.
What really is the purpose of being alive?
Is it the yearn to strive?
Or the fact, without family noone can survive?
Do you wish to leave that hateful, invisible stain?

When everyone gives up on you and begins telling lies,
What will you live for?
Will you just lie there on the God-forsaken floor,
Saying you can’t live your life anymore?
Just see your life in your mother’s eyes.

She cries heavy-heartedly for you.
Seeing her child hurting and beginning to cry…
Your mother won’t ever say “Goodbye”.
She’ll cry for eternity, it begins the day you die.
Is that what you want to put your mother through?

Your little sister hears all your lies.
She sees all of your pain.
On her fingertips, a blood red stain,
And her tears fall like a heavy rain.
As you walk away, do you notice all the hurt in her eyes?

She cries with your mother over your grave.
She holds her tight
And they remember nothing went right,
But the light then seemed bright.
Holding onto you, made them brave.

Then comes your big brother.
He’s strong with a heart of gold.
The things he said made him bold,
But his heart sank when he was told…
Dead, is the first daughter of his mother.

He stands looking sadly at your face.
A tear does sting his eye,
In a coffin does his baby sister lie.
He remembers when you were young, you were shy.
Along your soft skin does his finger trace.

Little sister, Madison. Brad, my big brother.
There’s something I wish to tell.
With your help, I can get myself well.
Then maybe, I won’t go to hell.
Please, help me tell mother…

Inside Me

Stretching my limbs through this life,
I’ve last longer than I thought.
No hurt or pain passing me by—
Unlike the happiness and joy so many see.
The shrapnel I’ve felt
Has more than splintered my heart
And soul;
It’s ripped apart my mind and set my life aflame.
Take aim at my heart, I dare you.
But have your fun… You won’t hit it;
I’d have to have a heart before you could.
Do me a favor, before you end me, however…
Slice open my chest with your name,
And crawl around inside my chest
So you’ll always know what I felt.

I Hate You

I hate the way you talk to me,
I hate the way you make me cry.
Why do you act like no other?
Why don you act like I’m not there.

I’m here, can you see me?
I hate the way you look.
I am not poison,
I’m just me.

I hate how you call me weird,
I hate all the nasty things you say.
Why am I different you ask?
Why are you?

I’m different, yes.
That’s just the way I am.
I’m not special.
I’m not anyone else.
I am me, can’t you see?

I hate all you are.
I hate how you walk.
I hate how you talk.
I hate how you are not you

For You

Tears are the most precious of gems
And the most painful of knives.
Their smooth wetness is dull,
Matching the dimmed light in the eye,
Trickling on the most unexpected of days
And pouring relentlessly on the loneliest of nights.
Meshing one with flesh and breath,
Causing blood to arise.
Sometimes they are the effect of passion;
Anger, sorrow, glee,
But on this day
They rain confusion as they stream down my cheek.
Pictures blur so quickly before me,
Mingling with joyous flashbacks and hinting of explanations.
I hardly notice them
As they shred my face to numbness,
Parading so melodically, oh, so silently.
The saltiness like that of ocean spray
Coats my lips for tongue to taste so bitterly
And the fresh feeling
Of an early morning’s breeze
Dances on eyelashes blinking to the beat.
I shake and tremble,
Fearing what I know not.
A connection, a line is formed.
Between heart and ache; sob and pain
In a circle, they leave thought behind
I am left with one knowledgeable fact;
They fall for you.

[Insert Name]

Since you left that night,
All I remember now is your
Hateful words.
Now you treat me differently
You treat me like someone else.
All the hate in your eyes,
Was once your love for me?
I try to make you laugh,
You say I am being hateful.
So…
For your sake,
I will hide.
For your sake,
I am all alone.
For your sake,
I will pretend…
It was not real.

Forever

Beautiful eyes, beautiful face,
I’m shy to talk to you.
You’re the eagle I must watch
No matter what I do.

You’re the beauty, wild and free,
The mistress of my eyes,
Rolling through exultant air,
Alone in pristine skies.

I would take your for my own
Could I, but have your wings,
Could I, but go where night begins
And frozen sunlight sings.

Could I, but have you for my love
How might we fly together!
But I must watch you from below
And long for you forever.
But I must be the one below
And long for you forever.

Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s, my love!
All my love is yours.
Praised be love that brings us home,
Pilgrims to these shores.
Yearnings here find harborage;
Vanities, sly smiles.
All that righteous anger rends,
Love her reconciles.
Even in the darkness where
No bitterness finds rest,
Thoughts of you are like a dawn
Intent on happiness.
No would I have so light a heart
Except that, I am blessed!
I wish you were my valentine
Though I may not be yours,
And I may, in my ignorance,
Be speaking to closed doors.
I have no inkling of your heart,
No hint what you might say;
But when I think of you, the sun
Will just not go away.

There is in you, a loveliness
That makes my darkness smile,
And so I’ll wait, if wait I must,
To be your valentine.

The Sun Will Shine Again

When my letter reaches you,
Please don’t break the seal,
Just wait a little while,
Give it time to heal,
And I believe you’ll understand,
Just exactly how I feel,
This is my last and most loving request.
With a restless innocence,
Our hearts began to race,
With one thing on our mind,
We foolishly embraced,
Now as twilight closes in,
I see you from a distant place,
And I wish for you all the courage that you’ll ever need,
To be your best!
And although it storms and it’s raining outside,
All the people of the city still believe in the existence of the sun.
And a forgotten melody,
And the birds in our hands,
A life without pain,
Is a life without joy, without fun!

Tired Life

This world’s on fire,
But all I’m seeing is black and white.
The smoke’s so thick in the air,
And I’m still finding my way out.
Some red-hot nails on the ground,
Though none of this bothers me.
I can smell burnt flesh around me,
But it’s not making me sick.
The oceans are gone,
And there’s no more tears for pity.
There’s no more trees to climb,
So there’s no way to get away.
My heart may be full,
But it’ll never keep me afloat in ashes.

All for a Tart?

Now its time to live or loose,
Play the game or face the blues,
All you did was shatter my heart,
Don’t worry about that, she was only a tart.

When you think you have friends,
Thinking you can make an amense,
But you are so wrong,
You just need to be strong.

I would cry for you, maybe even die for you,
Follow your steps, and do what you do,
Love controls you, makes you weak,
Hoping for the best, there must be a peak.

The heartbreak and the pain,
The glitter and the fame,
Is this how it really works,
Nothing in life but little perks.

I have nothing but you, nothing to live,
No one else, nothing to give,
I love you with the whole of my heart,
Please don’t ruin this because of a tart.

You and Me

I know that I love you
I know this much is true
I know that by the fires light
I want to be with you

I know that when I wake up
It’s your face I want to see
And in the daylight hours
With you is where I’ll be

And although life may bend us
We never break
For love and life
Has joined us
And in our journey we take

We’ll take a stand
And mold us
Into each others arms
And in that molding mold us
A baby for our arms

I Can Tell You Anything

Currently or otherwise
I’m here to say
That I can tell you anything

You know that I am an open book
Just look at the pages within
I’ve told my story
From start to finish
I told you from the start

So now you know
In the thick of things that I will spill my heart

I know I can tell you anything
For we’ve been friends for years
And in the midst of a fit
I know wipe my tears

Forever friends
Can be wonderful lovers
If only their love collides
And that my dear
Is a dream for me
That one day might come true

That in the thick of things
You can tell me anything
Just like I can

In The Midst… There is You

In the midst of heartache
I feel love
And it comes out of nowhere
For your love
Is like a dream

In so many ways
I think of you
In so many ways
I want you
To want me

But I am forever thankful
That you are my genuine friend

Remember Me, When…

Remember me when she asks about your past
Tell her what we had never meant to last

Remember me when you first go out
Tell her you love her without a single bit of doubt

Remember me when she calls you her life
Don’t you ever cause her any kind of strife

Remember me when you hold her hand
And when things go wrong, try to understand

Remember me when she sheds her first tear
And whenever she needs you, please stay near

Remember me when you kiss her goodnight
Keep her smiling and hold her tight

Remember me when you look at her eye
Please, don’t leave her wondering why

And remember me when you broke her heart
Tell her you’re sorry, smartly play your part

The truth behind your lies, she will never know
Just another girl you will forget, once you let her go

Live You Life With Arms Open Wide

Place your hand upon your chest
And feel the significance of embrace

Capture the essence and free your soul
Adopt the feelings and let it go

Emotional passion of pure affection
Uplifting it is when two hearts meet

Remember cuddles in winter time
So shall love make you unwind

With arms wide open you will see
That love is something unconditionally

So live your life with full ardent
And open wide with lots of pride

Cut Here. Cut There.

One cut
Two cut
Three cut
Four
Blood is dripping on the floor

Five cut
Six cut
Seven cut
Eight
I lie here, waiting for my fate

Nine cut
Ten cut
Eleven cut
Twelve
All you people will go to hell

One blade
Shiny
Cutting through
Twelve cuts gleaming
Bleeding anew
Covered in stains
Covered in tears
No more horrible
Suffering years

Just cut that vein
Over there
Everything will be over
And no one will care

One cut
Two cut
Three cut
Four
I can’t live my life anymore

Five cut
Six cut
Seven cut
Eight
All I’m feeling is deep red hate

Nine cut
Ten cut
Eleven cut
Twelve
I am slowly killing myself

Now I’m dead
What’s one more cut
More or less?

Could this be…

I know you don’t know me,
But look and see.
There is something special,
In the way you look at me.

I can’t speak, I can’t breathe.
I can’t tell.
I look at you and I know
How my heart fell.

Could this be just a fling?
Could this be a gift from above?
Could this be a lie?
Could this really be… love?

I won’t talk. I won’t breathe.
I need you to get me through.
Get me through each day.
Each day, I’ll say, “I love you.”

Untitled

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
To the sound of your breath on my neck;
The warmth of your lips on my cheek;
The touch of your fingers on my skin;
And the feel of your heart beating with mine…
Know that I could never find that feeling
With anyone else other than you.

Dreams

Close your eyes and listen,
What do you hear?
Is it the wind?
Is it the birds?
Is it my voice singing this to you?
If you dream at night, do you hope it will come true?
But sometimes, dreams are meant to be shattered.
Dreams are meant to be lost.
Dreams are just inside my mind,
They don’t mean a thing to me.

Daughter of Hell

I’m the Devil’s Daughter,
But I’m God’s Angel.
Black wings of heavenly bliss…
A gold caress within my eyes,
A blackening stab within my heart.
Shattered is this heart of hellish stone,
Lay before God’s feet immortal child.
Cry thine tears of broken heaven and wishful thinking.
Tell not the tale of the Lady in Red
With beautiful eyes of green and
Sleek black hair (so fierce!)
I am that wicked Daughter, Daughter of immortality,
The daughter of hell on the brink of death.
Tell not my Devil child how she, the hellish angel,
Crept into thine room in small red dress
And golden hair.
Bared fangs with no intention to kill…