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 Ashellie's Book of Poetry

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Ashellie Kaine
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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:15 am

Something Other Than Human

Screaming
Clawing at my chest
Tearing a new hole
Blank eyed
Bloodshot
Staring at somebody I don’t even know in the mirror
Dark circles of sleeplessness
Shatter and bleed
Reflection scattered up the floor
The silvers lethal and better left forgotten
Walk away
Eaten up
On the inside
Pace a path of self destruction
Dissected by demons
Inner and outer
Pale and shaking
Psychosis, maniacal, masochistic, comatose
Shell of a human
Emotionless
Hollow and devoid of life
Obscenities and unholiness
Behold the darkness
In this soul
These hands are plague bringers
Faceless masses
Plague this hush
Splitting the skin
Strangling the breath
Of this body
I’m something other than human

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:16 am

Tired

Tears are blinding my vision
Pain ripping through my heart
Hollow and empty, lost and tired
Happiness no longer lives in me
God has allowed me nothing
Punished for sins I know not what
Loneliness is my fate, my fear
My destiny and my sorrow
Loves knows not my name
Just a whisper of a promise
Tempest winds blow over me
Shredding my skin to bare bone
Defeat is all that now clothes me
Falling to my knees in frustration
Take the last of me allow me eternal sleep

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:17 am

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

Yesterday… you were here,
Here by my side, so close to me.
And today while looking back,
You’re not where you’re supposed to be.

Yesterday you said through a smile,
“Promise that I won’t let go.”
Today, searching my memories,
Your voice is just an echo.

Yesterday I heard your laughter,
It was the last thing on my mind.
Today would be the worst of days
The horrid news my heart would find.

You swore to me tomorrow;
It was a promise made in vain.
I waited yesterday… today,
But, dear, tomorrow never came.

For anyone who’s lost a loved one…
Rest In Peace

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:27 am

You Sit There… Watching Me Burn

You sit there watching me as I burn,
Why don’t you help me?
You just sit there and watch me yearn,
But these are flames of fire,
These are flames of pain.
You sit there watching me burn as the blood drips down like rain.
The weight of my burdens is too much to bear.
I cry out in agony
But you’re still just sitting there.
I’m slowly disappearing,
And slowly fading away
But still you sit there watching me burn
You seem to have nothing to say
As the tears finally swell up in my eyes,
I look at you and cry my last good byes,
But still you sit there watching me burn
Now with a smile upon your face.
You are happy now
Know that I’m about to disappear without a trace.

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:27 am

Lost and Falling

Life frozen or caught on fire,
Why does it matter?
Cut deep or shallow scratch,
In narrow alleys with a patch of darkness.
Falling up or getting down,
A cup of glass cutting our throats.
Mass collections of suicide notes,
And a small amount of hope.
Falling into death in deep with darkness,
Seeking thought or maybe not.
Going in circles without a fight,
Not slavery and so far out of sight.
Loss and false hopes binding us down,
Its our cost of not being found.
Sounds of voices peek in our heads,
Fallen asleep deep in our beds.
Graves of memories found in our dreams,
Deep dreams filling with passion and rising with action.
Faith calling and showing our fates,
Knowing of death and full of hates.
Sedating our minds and lost hopes of love,
Kind and gentle thoughts of warmness,
Killed our fate of endless fought circles,
Loneliness found here between worlds.
The sound of calling,
Found and falling.

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:28 am

Girl of Stone

Hard as stone
With hidden fears
She love in silence
No one hears

Eyes of ice
Never to melt
Locked feelings
Never felt

Spirit of steel
Never broken
Frozen emotions
Left unspoken

Heart of gold
Sweet as can be
Beautiful soul
She means so much to me.

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:31 am

My Best Friend

Our friendship is an ocean, stretching
Far and wide
Never ending-
Filled with memories-
That last a lifetime

You’ve always known
Just what to say

You were always there,
When I needed you the most

When I needed-
A shoulder to cry on
Yours was always waiting

When I needed-
Someone to talk to
You were there
Just listening

When I needed-
Someone to hug
Your arms were
Doors wide open to me

Our friendship’s
Just like the
Stars-
Both go beyond
Man’s reach

All of the giggles we shared

Let the salty taste of tears
Run down our cheeks

All the laughs,
The smiles,
The hugs,
The inside jokes,
The hours online,
And
The eighty minute phone calls

Just because

You were the family that God forgot to give me

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:50 am

Lone Wolf Banished to a Lonely Life

A wolf with no complications,
Left his pack to seek his own salvation.

Coming across a long line of his own kind thinking that there was hope,
Soon to realize that they had cut his line and he had come to the end of his rope.

Finally he had found some friends he thought that he could trust,
In the end he came to find that this will soon turn into rust.

In this he lets out a beastly howl of his resolution,
Now all of the things that he had hoped and dreamed of is all an illusion.

With his eyes wide open, he finds himself a victim, a slave to his soft and tender heart,
The hatred in his eyes, the torture in his soul, now and forever an outcast just like it was from the start.

Too late for him now for he is a victim, even when he wouldn’t let it show,
Knowing that they never saw the signs, he acts as the wind does and let’s everything go.

He tried his hardest to keep it away from everyone so he locked everybody else out,
He leaves while no one is watching so that they can’t say anything, he goes to where no one can hear his final shout.

Even though he puts on a smile he struggles through the pain as a slave,
Finally with his untold story out of the way he can rest in his own grave.

The life of a wolf is hard even in his dissolve,
For him in his memory howl as the wolf once did for his final resolve!

Forever an Outcast just like the wolf!

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:50 am

He Felt Nothing

I was once a princess with a thousand fears…
I was once a princess blinded by a thousand tears…
I was once a princess locked away for a thousand years…

Prayed for him to scare a thousand fears…
Prayed for him to dry a thousand tears…
Prayed for him to be here for a thousand years…

When the fears still came, I had to hide…
When he calls me names, I cried…
When he was never there, I knew I died…

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:51 am

Broken

Awakened in the morning by drops of rain
Falling like tears on the face of pain
People pass by ignoring this stranger
Past the point of feeling anger
Waiting for hope to come my way
All I have is a little faith
I’ve become numb to the pain
Drowning in a world flooded by rain

Wishing for the sun, but I can’t seen when it’s storming
All that comes is red skies in the morning
I was born in a world that’s going nowhere
No hope, no dreams, no direction, no fear

Broken glass reflecting the moonlight
Sitting here, another sleepless night
Does anyone care?
God, are You listening?
You said You’d be here, but I can’t hear Your whisperings
A gentle breeze brushed past and paints the sunrise
But I’m too tired to open my eyes
As I drift away it feels cold tonight
Broken glass reflecting my life

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:51 am

September 11, 2008

The sky, crystal blue and bright, everything seems to be set in place.
The game is in play and everyone is oblivious to the danger
That’s coming in a ton of metal.

A crash heard around the world

The two towers in New York City fell, the world just came crashing down.
That once blue sky, became filled with smoke and tears.
TVx across America clicked on and danger became reality.

A mother’s cry echoed out

So many lives lost, but their souls are not gone…
They’re always in our hearts, and they bring us together.
On just one day.

Red, White & Blue raised high


Seven years its been, since the world died and its beginning again.
America is being reborn, as everyone puts everything aside.
To console those mourning and remember that day the sky turned black…

The day America found its strength

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:52 am

Things I’ve Written

I’ve written things in stone,
I’ve written things in blood.

I’ve written things on paper,
I’ve written things on skin.

I’ve written things in my mind,
I’ve written things in my heart.

Each thing,
Each word,
Each sentence,
A perfect meaning.

Every expression,
Every emotion,
Every meaning,
Comes right from my heart.

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:18 am

Soul Murdered

There was something I thought about last night.
Something that I knew just wasn’t right…
All sense of reason just left my sight;
My mind and body, caught in a spiritual fight.

I was ready to end my life last night…
Give up on everything, it felt so right…
The inhuman light was in my unholy sight…
Tearing apart my mind and body in this fight…

Last night…
Just wasn’t right…
What I did, take it from my sight…
End this fight…

There was something I thought about last night…
Something I knew wasn’t right…
All sense of reason was out of sight…
Mind and body… killed in this fight…

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:51 am

Like You Should

You were always there,
Like best friends should.

You always listened,
Like best friends should.

You always cared,
Like best friends should.

You weren’t there,
Like a boyfriend should.

You didn’t listen,
Like a boyfriend should.

You didn’t care,
Like you said you would.

All I want,
Is my best friend back…

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:52 am

Can’t

You can’t fix what you broke;
You can’t keep the promise you made;
You can’t find the truth in your lies;
You can’t change what you’ve done;
You can’t fix what you broke…

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:52 am

In The End

I felt as if I was walking on broken glass…
I felt as if I was falling fast…
I felt as if I was choking on this gas…

I felt this heart…
I felt this fall apart…
I felt this from the start…

From the beginning, it was a lie…
From the beginning, I shouldn’t cry…
In the end, I will die…

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:53 am

Mai Kokoro

Watashi kaihou mai kokoro ikkai;
Watashi itto furi-kara kono chuuko ori;
Mai metsuki nokogiri ato takai otokonoko motte kurai metsuki,
Kyou mai kokoro kakou zenpou.
Tadashi itto ato rai…

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:53 am

Why You Love That Song

I gave you a hug
You said I’m the first
The first to care enough to ask
I still don’t know what hurts

And no you don’t have to answer
Any questions I might ask
I ask them to make sure you’re still there
Also I want to know what’s behind the mask

I do believe you have a mask
I know I might be wrong
But I think you smile so people don’t ask
Why you love that song

Now you have to go
So I’ll cut the poem off
I’m sorry your day made you think
That no one cared enough

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:54 am

Living in Fear

Pushing everyone away
Holding only 3 close
Tears falling nightly, as I take another dose
A dose of pain the nightmares bring back
Sick of the hurt that he would inflict
A new bruise everyday, tears here to stay
Slipping back into the fear of how things used to be
Wishing it would just go away, but knowing it never will
Why can’t I just end this? I promise to clean up the spill…
You’ve been in a jail for half a year
Yet when I close my eyes I still scream in fear
Why can’t all the pain just disappear?
I’m sick of living my life in nothing, but fear
*****, ******, and **** the 3 I won’t push away
But in the meantime will everyone please just go away?!
I need some space, time to think
Please go away and let me sink
I don’t know why I still feel this way
I need some time to explore
This fear and pain I buried so long ago
Has come up to deal with once more…

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:55 am

Everything Burns

She sits in her corner
Singing herself to sleep
Wrapped in all of the promises
That no one seems to keep
Walking through life unnoticed
Know that no one cares
Too consumed in the masquerade
No one sees her there

Till everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate
And all of this pain
I’ll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
Till everything burns

She no longer cries to herself
No tears left to wash away
Just diaries of empty pages
Feelings gone astray

Till everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate
And all of this pain
I’ll burn it all down
As my angel reigns
Till everything burns

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:55 am

Don’t Cry

Quiver.
It’s only a night,
Why must you cry so often?
Be a woman, hold it in.

It’s nothing.
Just anger.
Just affection awry.
Just a bad song on the radio.

Don’t worry.
It’s just three stanzas.
Don’t cry.
Simply quiver.

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:55 am

Painful Life

Who cares if I get hurt, I’m stupid I thought it really mattered
Who cares if I cry myself to sleep, my dreams have already shattered
Things I want to happen never come true
Why did I think you loved me too?
My hearts in pieces and its hard to put together
Maybe I’m supposed to be lonely forever
I will never find my one true lover
God never sent me an angel from above
I guess I was never meant to be happy
I just wish my mom never had me
It would be easier if I just go and die
If I’m dead, I won’t be able to cry
Crying is all these eyes did
I have been crying ever since I was a kid
No one sees the pain I go through every single day
I wish I could go somewhere, just run away
Pain is the only thing I ever felt
Even when my dad would hit me with his black belt
I thought I would start a new life at this new school
Thought I could be someone different, wow I’m such a fool
Maybe tonight will be my last cry
Cause once I pull that trigger, the last thing I’ll do is die…

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:56 am

Letter Part 1

Well, right now I’m feeling like you don’t give a shit. I feel like my world is crashing down and I can only watch it crumble and fall. And my heart is breaking with every word because you don’t seem to feel the same way. It’s like I’m afraid to tell you how I’m feeling because you get mad when I say what’s on my mind. There are times when we’re not together and all I do is look at your picture and smile, but then to hear the stuff you’re saying now is so hurtful all I wanna do is cry. And it seems like the more I try to keep myself from crying the more I hurt.

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 3:02 am

Letter Part 2

I still lay awake at night thinking of you, but now when I start to fall asleep—I feel your touch. When my mind drifts off to dream, your face pops up and I wake up in a cold sweat screaming your name. When my eyes start to close, I can see your face just like it was the dark of that day. I can’t believe that I still can’t sleep because of you. You are still on my mind; your touch is still on my skin; your breath still on my neck and your voice still in my ears.

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PostSubject: Re: Ashellie's Book of Poetry   Sat Jun 20, 2009 3:03 am

I Look Around

I look around
And see everyone
And wonder if they know
Anything I’ve done

I wonder if they see
The girl bleeding all alone
I wonder if they see the tears
I cry cause I’m on my own

My family doesn’t want me
My friends they don’t care
My boyfriend can barely stand me
I have no one here

My wrists and heart are bleeding
Tears running from my eyes
I know no one would care
If tonight I just died

Walk in front of that train
Pull tight on the rope
Drown in the rain
Ready? Here I go

Grip on the knife
And press down hard
Or maybe stand in the road
And wait for that car

Put the gun to my head
And slowly pull the trigger
The more I think about it
The more my tears grow bigger

Somebody save me
Somebody help
Because I know
I’m going to kill myself

How dark I ask anyone to love me
Or anyone to help
When I know inside
I can’t love or help myself

I hate myself
For everything I’ve done
I hate the person
That I have become

I hurt everyone around me
And anyone who cared
And I don’t blame them now
For not wanting me here

So this is my goodbye
This is my ‘I love you’
There is no telling tonight
What I will do

But I know this is my last
I know it’s not fair
So I will leave you alone
And stop asking you to care

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